So, you think you’re a bad mom?
We all think that we are the worst mother in the world sometimes, don’t we? Well, I am here to tell you you’re not. You are doing your very best with what you have during this season of your life. Period. Don’t let the voices of others make you think otherwise! Especially with social media these days, there is always someone making us think that our choices are not good enough.
You can’t afford to buy all organic produce? You’re a bad mom.
Your kids aren’t in every sport known to man? You’re a bad mom.
Your kids go to daycare/have a nanny? Terrible.. You’re a bad mom.
You stay at home with your kids and don’t juggle work and home? Must be because you’re a bad mom.
You feed your baby formula? Horrible. Worst mom ever.
You breast-fed your child past one year old? Who does that? You’re a bad mom.
Guys, we all have thinks that we think make us a terrible mom. Myself included!
- I yell. I mean really yell. I don’t want to. I know how much my kids hate it, and I try to be conscious of this, and do my best to not let it happen. But then, the boys are wrestling. Or I have asked them three thousand times to pick up their mess. I ask over, and over, and over.. and no one listens.. Then I yell. Like close the windows so the neighbor doesn’t hear, crazy person yell. Then their little faces fall, and I want to crawl into a hole and hide. Even though I yell, I know I am a good mom.
- My kids eat fast food. Not every day, but we get into busy seasons, and it is way more than I would like it to be. We are all working really hard on not eating it anymore, cleaning up our diets as a family, but I am sure there will be more nuggets in their future. And you know what? It’s okay. I do my best to feed my kids a balanced diet that is mostly clean, with lots of fruits and vegetables.. so if they end up eating out once in a while, it’s okay.
- Sometimes, I miss working outside the home. There, I said it. I have worked from home for almost 13 years. 13 YEARS! That is a long ass time. I work with children, all day, every day, and then have to care for my own children (and husband) after work. It’s exhausting sometimes! At least once a month, you can find me looking at job postings, thinking about going back to work outside the home. I miss adult interaction! I miss the validation you get from a job well done. But you know what? I’ve never missed a first word, first step, or any other major milestone in any one of my four kids’ lives. I am home to kiss them goodbye, and the first one to welcome them home each day. I get to clean my house, do laundry, and cook for my family and not have to fit it all into the few hours in the evening after work.
- My husband and I argue. Yes, sometimes the kids hear us. Is it a daily occurrence? No, of course not. Do I feel bad when they hear us.. well, sort of. No one wants their kids to think they “fight”. However, since we have been married almost 14 years, and we still live together, I think it’s okay. The kids need to know that people can have differing opinions, but be able to get past that. We always work out whatever the issue is, and the kids are able to see an example of conflict resolution. It’s real life.
- I am a total control freak. I’ll admit it. I’ve run this house for 13 years, and I know how I like things done. The kids don’t like having to clean “my way”, and I am trying to let some of that go. I know that help is better than no help.. and as my kids get older they are certainly capable of doing more chores. I’ve even stopped rearranging the dishwasher after my 8-year-old loads it. Just this morning my 8-year-old folded a load of towels, terribly wrong and I let her put them away! I haven’t even refolded them. That’s progress.
In the end though, I know I am a good mom. My kids are loved, and they know it. They are healthy, fed, well-adjusted tiny humans. Teachers tell me all the time how kind and respectful they are. That my children are the first to offer help, and are empathetic to the needs of their classmates. I know that I have done a good job with my children, despite my own insecurities as a parent.
YOU have too! No matter what has you down, thinking you are the worst parent in the world, I promise… Your kids don’t think you are. I promise.
What helped me.
One thing that has made a huge difference for me is making time for ME. I took a course last year that I absolutely loved called “Make Over Your Mornings”. I struggle getting enough sleep most nights. So when that alarm clock goes off, the Snooze alarm was my best friend. Then I would be dragging all morning, stressed out and feeling rushed. This in turn had me cranky, and sending everyone off to school in a bad mood. Something had to change! Enter this course.
The Make Over Your Mornings course, gave me the foundation to have a great productive morning, without having to get up hours before everyone else. If you are struggling with motivation in the morning, and feel like it is setting a bad tone for your whole day, I highly recommend it!
You don’t have to get up extra early to implement the tips in this course either! It will just help you to set up your mornings for a successful day. I am totally not a morning person, and this would have never worked if I had to get up super early each day just to make it work.
Mommas, we have all be there, had those moments of insecurity. Whether your toddler is having a meltdown in the middle of Target, or your teenager is slamming the door in your face, just know you ARE a good mom. Next time you see a parent struggling, remind them that they are enough. That they are exactly what their child needs right at that moment, and they are ENOUGH.